Homestuck: Infinitely Unlucky
by Maxria
Summary: WARNING: If you haven't read Homestuck yet, I suggest you do not read this until you have. Again, I am bored. I decided to create a character that would take the place on the hemospectrum that Karkat would have taken if it weren't for his mutation.
1. Prologue

By now, you probably know that Karkat's blood color just happens to be bright red. What if he didn't have this mutation? What blood color would he have had? Some people theorize that it would be lime green. This is the only blood color to not be marked on the hemospectrum when it comes to the twelve trolls. What if there was someone else who played the game? That has been theorized as well. What if there was a thirteenth troll?

You try to be the thirteenth troll and succeed.

Your name is HIKARI PENGAR. As was previously mentioned, you are the thirteenth troll to play the game Sgrub. You are 7.8 solar sweeps old. You are almost a whole sweep older than the trolls you have played the game with.

Your INTERESTS are PLAYINGS GAMES OF ANY KIND, ROLEPLAYING, AND DRAWING. You are a great artist with the ability to capture the emotion of the people you draw. No one really cares much on your planet, but who cares what other people think?

Your trolltag is shadedSoul. You tend to speak with normal punctuation, spelling, and grammar. However, when you're angry, you use texting quirks and use no punctuation what so ever. Also, you sometimes talk backwards as if you were used to typing like that. You always keep your text lime green despite the fact that it gives you a headache when you read what you typed. It sort of symbolizes who you are. Plus you have always liked the color lime green. It's not because it's your blood color, but also because it reflects your bright and lively personality.


	2. Chapter 1

The first thing you noticed after the introduction of yourself was that you have new messages on Trollian. Oh jeez, it's Karkat. It doesn't bother you too much, but does that kid ever shut his mouth? You should probably respond to him.

carcinoGeneticist began trolling shadedSoul.

CG: HEY, HIKARI.

CG: ARE YOU THERE?

CG: AH FUCK YOU'RE PROBABLY DRAWING SOME RANDOM PERSON AGAIN.

SS: Actually, I'm not.

CG: OH, OK GOOD. I NEED TO SEND YOU SOMETHING.

SS: Well, I'll accept it unless it's something gross or stupid.

CG: WHY THE HELL WOULD I SEND YOU SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

SS: You're just like that sometimes.

CG: THANKS. THANKS A LOT.

SS: You're welcome. ;)

CG: OK ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP. JUST ACCEPT THE DOWNLOAD.

carcinoGeneticist sent a download:

SS: You're sending me a program?

CG: YEAH, A GAME.

CG: THE BLUE TEAM THINKS WE NEED ANOTHER PLAYER BECAUSE WE ARE SO WEAK.

CG: WE AREN'T, BUT I WOULD RATHER TAKE THEIR ADVICE THEN HAVE YOU EITHER PLAY THE GAME WITH THOSE JERKS OR GET LEFT OUT.

SS: Aw, Karkat. That's so nice of you!

CG: OK I GET IT; I AM AN AWESOME AND FAIR LEADER.

CG: NOW DOWNLOAD THE GAME!

SS: Whoa, you're the team leader? :O

CG: YOU SOUND SURPRISED.

SS: Well, yes. However, it's in a good way.

CG: DID YOU DOWNLOAD IT YET?

SS: Jeez, don't start getting impatient with me.

CG: TOO LATE.

SS: IT always is.

SS: Yes, I did download the game. Should I run it?

CG: WAIT UNTIL I SAY SO. YOU WILL BE THE LAST PERSON TO ENTER, OK?

SS: Gee, thanks.

CG: YOU'RE WELCOME.

CarcinoGeneticist ceased trolling shadedSoul.

Well, now you have to wait for Karkat to talk to you again. What should you do in the time you have left?

You walk over to your wallet and take it. You have captchalogued way too many items in here. You decide to organize a little. You decide to throw everything out except the CASE OF SLIME you got from Gamzee as a gift (though you will never use it), a pair of RARE GLASSES you found while exploring with Aradia, and a bottle of FAYGO. All the trolls despise it, but you just think they never tried it. Faygo isn't really that bad. Your favorite is the blue one.

You also have a chain that you never wear anymore. However, you have always gotten it out if you ever needed it as a weapon. It's sort of a good weapon for you now. You put it into your strife specibus.

A new message pops up just as you finished organizing. You wonder if it's Karkat.


	3. Chapter 2

adiosToreador began trolling shadedSoul.

AT: hEY, hIKARI.

SS: Hi Tavros!

SS: Are you going to play the game as well?

AT: yEAH. wHAT TEAM ARE YOU ON? i'M ON THE RED TEAM.

SS: I'm on the red team as well!

AT: gREAT! uH, yEAH. tEAM MATES!

SS: Tavros, you are probably going to be my favorite team mate. Just don't tell anyone! ;)

AT: ah, OK. uH, THANKS. }:)

AT: sO, UH, gAMZEE JUST GOT IN THE GAME, SO HE IS GONNA LET YOU IN SHORTLY.

SS: Wow, I didn't know how much time went by since Karkat told me I was playing this game.

AT: yOU MUST HAVE BEEN BUSY OR SOMETHING.

SS: Actually, yes! I was organizing my wallet! That must have taken most of my time!

AT: aH, WELL THAT'S GOOD.

SS: Hey, can I message you later? Gamzee is messaging me now. I think I'm going to play the game!

AT: oK. bYE, hIKARI!

SS: Bye, Tavros!

adiosToreador ceased trolling shadedSoul.

TerminallyCapricious began trolling shadedSoul.

TC: HeY, hIkArI.

SS: Hi, Gamzee!

TC: YoU rEaDy To PlAy ThIs MoThErFuCkInG gAmE?

SS: Yeah, let me just load it.

SS: Well, it only takes a second with my computer. It's so fast!

TC: ItS a MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLe :o)

SS: It really is.

SS: Ok, I'm connected!

SS: Oh my- why are there parts of my hive moving around?

TC: HoNk :o)

SS: Gamzee, are you doing this?

TC: YuPp

SS: This is so weird!

You go outside to find some pieces of your hive scattered across the area. What kind of game is this?


	4. Chapter 3

Gamzee is making a mess out of your hive and the area surrounding it.

Appliances are scattered across the landscape, walls have been destroyed, and the whole hive itself eventually collapsed. Luckily, you have everything you need anyways. You have a portable computer and the capchalogued items in your sylladex. However, you are still mad at Gamzee for making a mess of your living space.

You message him, but he just tells you he needed to make some space for all the "miracle machines" or what ever he called them. He never really told you how to use the machines, but you quickly get the hang of it.

You quickly get through the tasks you needed to do, get out of the way of destruction, and then contact Terezi.

shadedSoul began trolling gallowsCalibrator.

SS: Terezi?

GC: YOUR T3XT T4ST3S L1K3 L1M3S.

SS: Is that a good thing?

GC: 1TS OK, 1 GU3SS.

SS: Well as long as you don't hate it. That would be bad.

GC: Y34H, 1 WOULDNT W4NT TO T4ST3 D1SGUST1NG T3XT 4LL D4Y.

SS: So I'm guessing that's how you read.

SS: Don't mind me asking this; Are you blind?

GC: Y3S. 1 DON'T M1ND. YOU S33M L1K3 4 N1C3 P3RSON. :]

SS: Well that's good!

SS: Hey, I need you to load the game. I'm going to be your server player.

GC: OH, OK!

She loads the game and connects to the server. You immediately start moving things around. Terezi doesn't seem to mind. The girl is having too much fun licking red chalk. You don't know why she would do that, but you try to make sense of it. Maybe red is her favorite color?

Despite the fact that you don't want to be mean, you start bossing her around so she could actually get something done other than lick red chalk. She doesn't mind. She actually likes you, so she'll do what you tell her to do.

This game is so weird, yet it's fairly easy to understand once you're in for a few minutes. It's like those games where you create people and build their houses for them to live in. However, this is a tad bit more realistic. Just a tad bit.

You are now done helping Terezi and are in the Land of Advertisements and Treasure.

You go on to Trollian to see if you have new messages. No one seems to be messaging you right now. However, you do notice some new timelines. You decide to message one of these new timelines.

shadedSoul began trolling ectoBiologist.

SS: Hello, I'm Hikari!

SS: I just noticed this new timeline, so I decided to check out who it was.

EB: uh hi

EB: im john

SS: Nice to meet you, John! :)

EB: you seem to be one of the nicer trolls

SS: Thanks! Are the others mean to you?

EB: some of them

EB: karkat is a complete douche

SS: Oh no! I hope you don't think about him like that for too long.

SS: He actually isn't that bad when you get on his good side.

EB: he has a good side?

SS: Surprisingly, yes!

EB: sorry, but i dont believe you

SS: Aww. :(

EB: sorry for the disappointment

EB: so wait aren't you being attacked by a dozen imps or something? Why would you have the time to talk to me?

SS: Fortunately and unfortunately, there are only a few of them here in my land of Advertisements and Treasure.

EB: really?

SS: Yeah… I wanted to kick some butt! However, I think the advertisements scared them off. :/

EB: umm… that sucks?

SS: It does!

SS: I guess it's a good thing. I won't be attacked that often, so I'll be able to explore the "treasure" part of this world. :D

EB: that would be nice! i wouldnt pass that up

SS: I don't think I will either. I'm going to explore for this treasure! Bye, John!

EB: bye, uh, whats your name again?

SS: My name is Hikari.

EB: ok bye hikari!

shadedSoul ceased trolling ectoBiologist.

Well that was a nice conversation. You think the kid may be socially awkward, but no big deal. He was still nice.

You go off to find the treasure on the Land of Advertisements and Treasure. You come across an imp every half an hour or so. It gets boring in this place. However, you did just sneak a peek at something shining in the distance. You go over to it and find THE SUFFERER'S NECKLACE. Weird, it looks like Karkat's symbol! You decide to captchalogue it so you can give it to him later.

You walk around a little more and find a few more items. You found a PI LUNCHBOX, a COMIC BOOK, and a few GOLD COINS. You aren't interested in the lunchbox and the gold coins, but the comic book is neat! It's about this guy who has spider like abilities. You find it very interesting.


	5. Chapter 4

_AN: I don't really know much about what happens with the trolls in between the first time you see them in the comic and when they reach the two year mark. I'm just going to skip over to the two year mark then. Hope you don't mind!_

You have been playing this game on your own for a while now.

You're walking around a tad bit to figure out what to do next. This whole Jack business is getting to you. To make things worse, you have a message to interrupt your thoughts.

twinArmageddons began trolling shadedSoul.

TA: 22?

SS: Yes?

TA: Can you plea2e calm down your moraiil?

SS: Oh gosh, what is Karkat up to now?

TA: He ii2 complaiiniing about pratiically everythiing. Iit2 really annoyiing.

SS: Is there any specific reason why he is complaining?

TA: Ii triied a2kiing, but he diidn't re2pond and kept on complaiiniing.

SS: Maybe it's personal.

TA: Probably. Terezii ju2t 2tormed out of here possiibly cryiing.

SS: Oh gosh, poor Terezi! I guess that's the problem. He seems to care about her a lot.

TA: Kiind of notiiced.

SS: Of course you did.

TA: He may al2o be complaiiniing about you. Where are you?

TA: KK speciifiically saiid not to leave.

SS: I know, but I can't think straight while all this madness is going on.

TA: Ii don't blame you.

TA: Hey, Ii'll me22age you later ok? Eriidan ju2t came iinto the room and her look2 angry a2 well.

SS: Ok. Bye, Sollux!

TA: 2ee you later, 22.

twinArmageddons ceased trolling shadedSoul.

You're so glad you aren't in that room right now. It's probably very chaotic. However, you hear something very disturbing to hear in a not so well lit hall.

Honk.

Honk.

You assume it's Gamzee, but he doesn't sound too happy. You decide to hide behind a chest. You don't bother opening it because you're afraid something terrible is going to happen. You silence your computer just as you get a new message from Karkat.

carcinoGeneticist began trolling shadedSoul.

CG: HIKARI, GET BACK HERE AT ONCE!

SS: Ok, Father. :P

CG: I'M FUCKING SERIOUS, YOU NEED TO GET BACK HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

CG: ERIDAN JUST FLIPPED HIS SHIT AND KILLED KANAYA AND FEFERI AND KNOCKED OUT SOLLUX.

SS: Gog. Ym. Ho.

CG: WHAT THE FUCK?

SS: Sorry, I mean "Oh. My. Gog."

CG: WHAT IS THIS? A FUCKING DISEASE?

SS: I hope not.

CG: JUST COME BACK HERE.

CG: GAMZEE IS ALSO GOING CRAZY TOO. HE'S PLANNING ON KILLING US ALL.

SS: Oh shit.

CG: IT'S SO CRAZY, YOU EVEN SWORE ABOUT IT. MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES.

SS: Hey I have an idea!

CG: YEAH, IT'S TO GET THE FUCK BACK HERE BEFORE YOU GET KILLED.

You ignore Karkat for a minute to get the BOTTLE OF FAYGO out of your sylladex. This may calm him down a little. You don't want him to notice you, so giving it to him out flat isn't an option. You decide to do something that may have been a stupid idea until a miracle happened. You shake up the BOTTLE OF FAYGO, and open it in his direction.

This is stupid.

You hit him straight in the eyes, leaving him blind for a few seconds. This gave you enough time to run for it.

You return to the conversation you were having with Karkat.

SS: Hey, Karkat. I'm almost there.

CG: GOOD.

SS: I had to pass by Gamzee first, but it was no big deal. I just slammed a Faygo in his face.

CG: WHY DID THAT SOUND IRONIC?

SS: Probably because it is.

SS: Ok I'm at the transporter.

shadedSoul ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist.


	6. Chapter 5

You go to the room where Karkat is and notice the big mess that piled up onto the mess made before this one. Kanaya and Feferi lay on the floor dead while Sollux is just knocked out, just like Karkat said. However, his eyes don't seem to have blue and red in them anymore. Maybe Eridan's attack blinded him. That would be upsetting.

You help Karkat move Sollux to a different location. While you both carry him, Karkat randomly freaks out and sends you all flying down the stairs. You get a nose bleed while Sollux's teeth fall out. Karkat tries to put them back in. You call him a dumbass.

Karkat starts doing some ectobiology. You try to make sense of the task, but fail. After a few minutes of waiting around, Sollux suddenly wakes up and spits his teeth out. He contacts Terezi, and Karkat goes crazy. He wants to talk to her so much. Sollux is hogging the chat though. How can he even tell what the text says? Oh wait, he has a head set that can speak the words to him. Nevermind.

You open your computer and find new messages from a certain angry clown.

terminallyCapricious began trolling shadedSoul.

TC: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, MOTHERFUCKER?

SS: How did you know it was me?

TC: i saw you in the corner of my eyes before you sprayed faygo in them.

SS: Hey, your typing quirk changed. Are you alright?

TC: I'M DOING JUST FINE.

TC: I just lack some slime

TC: it was poison anyways

SS: Gamzee, you do realize I have a case of it in my sylladex, right? You could've asked.

TC: DO YOU WANT MY MOTHERUCKING THINK PAN TO ROT?

TC: WHY WOULD YOU CARRY THAT ANYWAYS?

TC: honk.

SS: You gave it to me, remember?

TC: I actually don't remember.

SS: Uoy htiw gnorw si kcuf eht tahw?

TC: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING MOTHERFUCKER?

TC: TRYING TO GIVE ME A HARD TIME?

SS: No! I'm not!

TC: honk.

TC: HONK.

TC: get ready for a beating when we meet again, motherfucker.

TC: HONK.

TerminallyCapricious ceased trolling shadedSoul.

Damn backwards typing! You don't understand why you do that. What a curse, because it just got you in more trouble with Gamzee then the rest of the crew. You prepare for a beating, but fail miserably.


	7. Chapter 6

_AN: Sorry it's so short!_

You start to cry. Karkat asks if you are alright and Sollux is confused about what is going on. You don't tell them that Gamzee is going to kill you, but it would've been a great idea. You probably wouldn't feel as guilty if you did, because they just sent Equius to kill him. You start crying even more, and tell them not to let him do it. Karkat is confused; therefore he doesn't listen to you. Jerk.

You run off to find Equius. Karkat tries to stop you, but he never catches up to you. You are a pretty fast runner. You look around everywhere until finally you find Equius. You also find Nepeta too. They are both dead.

Terezi walks towards the murder scene. You tell her Gamzee did this, but she believes Vriska did it. She referred to her as "Spidertroll" and said the name in a harsh manner. You don't want to disappoint her, so you just go along with it despite the fact that you know Gamzee killed the morails.

Terezi contacts Sollux again to tell him what happened. He told her that Gamzee did it, but she still doesn't believe the both of you. When they finished, she walked away and you followed as well. You both end up falling into a trap and end up in another room. You suddenly lose the ability to be yourself. You feel something is taking over you.

Year two finished. 4/13/09 – 4/13/11

Disc One is finished. Please insert Disc Two.


	8. Chapter 7

Terezi walks around the room Hikari and her just fell into. There is a weird Cal doll in the way ALL THE TIME. They don't seem to take much attention to it, but they probably should. Terezi finds a record player and decides to play some music. After a while, she thinks it's unfitting for the situation. When she went to put it back, a disc fell out of the record sleeve. They have found Disc Two, whatever that is. She tries to play the disc, and Hikari advises her not to, but she does anyways and scratches it right in the middle. Oh well.

Terezi finds her role play costume and Pyralspite. She hugs Pyralspite as it gives out a majestic squeak. Well, it wasn't THAT majestic, but whatever.

Ok we should probably load the disc we found.

Disc Two Loading…

W-what? Look at how bad the graphics look now that the disc is scratched! You can't control anyone! Terezi was just about to flip the coin and have it land, but the coin just stops right in front of Vriska's face! Oh well, a professional will have to fix this.

You try to be the white text guy, but fail. You can never be him. Even I, the author, can't be him.

He takes the disc from you and tells you it's going to take a while to fix it. Meanwhile, a past version of you enters the room. What the hell? You refrain from talking to yourself, as you have seen the consequences with Karkat.

Another guest walks in, and it just happens to be a black figure. He is very interested in the candy bowl of Licorice Scottish Doggies.

Doc Scratch tells you about what will happen, and what could have happened. What could happen was Terezi would let Vriska go fight Jack and eventually lead Jack to kill the other trolls. However, this was not the case. Instead, Terezi took the chance and stabbed Vriska with her cane sword.

He also kicks out the black figure who is stealing the endless supply of Scottish Doggies in his hat. While he does that, you look at the pictures that are scattered during the fight. The pictures involve both trolls and humans, and even both of them together. There are even pictures of Davesprite and Jadesprite. You try to make sense of these pictures. Did you succeed?

Another person is now here. She looks just like Aradia! However, she has a green outfit on, and she has chopsticks in her hair. She attempts to leave many times, even with suicide by electric shock, but Doc Scratch won't let her. He just keeps hitting her with a broom. It's a scene in here. It really is. It becomes even more of a scene when some random guy in a costume comes up to Doc Scratch and just shakes him furiously. He even threw him out the window at one point. Now you think Doc Scratch is dead. Either that or he was a puppet this whole time. You go outside of the building to see the now motionless Doc Scratch with his leg torn off.

The random guy pulls out the good as new disc from Doc Scratch's back and gives it to you. He tells you that Doc Scratch must have been finished with it for a long time, but kept it with him so you would stay longer. Thank Gog you aren't staying here longer. You load the disc into the computer.

Disc Two Loading…

Changing Player...


	9. Chapter 8

You are Sara Kingswell and you are getting ready for the scratch.

You have been playing a game called Sburb for some time now. Two years to be exact. At first you didn't want to play, but some kid with glasses told you that you should. You trust him, so you decided to play afterall.

You are a girl of the dark side. You listen to metal, like piercings, and have this thing for black clothes. Most of the kids in your school wear white shirts with a symbol on it. You wear a black shirt with a green backwards 3 on the front. You're mostly an outcast because of this. However, you do have four very good friends. Your best friend just happens to be a little bit on the dark side as well, but you are more extreme with it.

Speaking of which, you haven't talked to her in a while, but that's probably because she's not answering any of your messages. This is unlike her.

You talked to John about it, and he said she went "grimdark" whatever that means.

Anyways, back to the scratch. Apparently you are supposed to "reset" your game. You feel like a total failure just thinking of it. However, you have no choice. You must reset the game.

Before you do that though, the white text guy told you to talk to a troll. You're not sure why you would want to even try to do that, but okay. You can handle the misery. Thank God the white text guy mentioned which troll. If it were any troll, you might have been stuck with Terezi, or worse, Karkat.

You message this troll now.

artisticAssassin began pestering shadedSoul.

AA: Hey, I was told by some douche in white text that I needed to talk to you.

AA: So here I am.

SS: I'm sorry, but who are you?

AA: Sara.

SS: Oh! You must be one of the kids!

SS: I could tell because your name is spelled with four letters.

SS: And instead of trolling, you are pestering me.

AA: That's nice.

AA: But I want to get this over with.

AA: What the hell are we supposed to talk about?

SS: I truly don't know.

AA: Great, I'll be on my way then.

SS: !tiaW

AA: What the…

SS: Sorry…

SS: I tend to type backwards for some reason.

AA: Unconsciously?

SS: Yes.

AA: You're a freak.

SS: I think I'm going to cry.

AA: Really?

SS: Nope. I have worse things to worry about than being called a freak. I could get killed by a freak. That's why I'm hiding...

SS: Anyways maybe you can help me with something.

AA: Shoot.

SS: Shoot?

AA: Oh my God.

AA: Tell me your problem.

SS: Oh! Ok.

SS: Well I'm standing next to this device.

AA: Great story bro.

SS: im not done yet!

SS: *Breathe*

SS: Ok. So I'm standing next to this thing, and I'm supposed to use it somehow.

SS: What the hell am I supposed to do and how?

AA: Well I can't really tell you.

AA: Because I can't see the machine.

shadedSoul sent artisticAssassin a picture file.

SS: This thing.

AA: Oh.

AA: Ok this thing looks similar to the device I'm standing next to.

SS: Really?

AA: Nope.

SS: Then why did you…

AA: I'm being sarcastic.

AA: It's basically the same exact machine.

SS: Ok. So do you know how to use it?

AA: Nope.

SS: Are you being sarcastic again?

AA: Actually this time I'm being serious.

AA: I don't know how to even turn on the damn thing.

AA: Never mind use it.

SS: Oh…

SS: Maybe we need to put something in the capsule.

AA: What do we even have that would make sense in this case?

SS: Do you have an item that's basically trash.

AA: Yeah, this broken bike chain.

SS: Ok put it in there.

AA: Ok it's in.

SS: I'll put in the slime I never got to use.

AA: Slime? Ew.

SS: That's why I never used it.

AA: How the hell do you use slime?

SS: Eat it.

AA: That's just horrific.

SS: Ok now I'm guessing we should press the red button.

AA: Hey! My bike chain turned into a jar of disgusting green liquid!

SS: And my slime turned into…

AA: What?

SS: A bike chain.

AA: Oh God.

SS: Gog?

AA: No, just God.

SS: Ok so we need to switch out something in exchange for another?

AA: Hmmm…

SS: What?

AA: I'm just thinking…

SS: Thinking of what?

AA: The capsule is about the size of an average human.

SS: I'm guessing humans are as tall as trolls?

AA: Exactly.

SS: So wait, you want us to go in there?

AA: Yes.

SS: How will we even get switched if the button is on the outside of the machine?

AA: Dude, look inside the capsule.

SS: Oh. There's another red button.

AA: Exactly.

artisticAssassin ceased pestering shadedSoul.

So this is what you have to do.

You step into the capsule and shut the door tightly. You are sort of nervous for this. Oh screw that, just push the red button!

You push the red button and you feel tremendous pain.


	10. Chapter 9

You wake up from the pain of the capsule's doings. It's very dark. You get out your computer and try to message the person you were talking to before. Your chat client doesn't even work now. You decide to download a new one and name yourself artisticAssassin once again. You get a new message from someone who has a working Pesterchum. Bastard.

poisonedBeauty began pestering artisticAssassin.

PB: Ello?

AA: Hey.

PB: Wats up? =D

AA: Not much. I was in complete darkness until I turned on my computer.

AA: Why are there so many rocks around me?

PB: Rocks? =O

AA: No, shit.

PB: Language, missy!

AA: Sure.

AA: So I need to find a way out now.

AA: By the way…

PB: Yesh?

AA: How come your Pesterchum works and mine doesn't?

PB: You probably need an update.

AA: It won't even update.

PB: Dang, it must be old!

AA: Old?

AA: What's your name and where are you?

PB: This is creepy…

PB: But im jess and i live in cali!

AA: Cali?

AA: Cali as in California?

PB: Yesh!

AA: Oh my God…

PB: Wut?

AA: I lived through the scratch?

PB: Scratch? Wut's a scratch?

AA: You just answered my question without even knowing what I'm talking about.

PB: I'm getting scared…

AA: Don't worry.

AA: Are you going to play a game called Sburb?

PB: Yesh! Im playing with four other friends.

PB: Are you playing 2?

AA: I already played.

PB: HOW?

AA: I probably shouldn't get detailed with it.

AA: But all I can say is…

AA: Good luck.

PB: =O

PB: Is it that hard?

AA: You wouldn't even believe me if I told you.

PB: Is it still epic?

AA: Yes.

PB: Yaaaaayyyyyy!

AA: I can tell you're excited.

PB: Yesh I am!

AA: Excuse me while I try to get out of this thing.

AA: I'll message you later if needed.

PB: Ok! I hope u get out soon!

AA: Thanks.

artisticAssassin ceased being pestered by poisonedBeauty.

Time to get out of here.

You jump so hard, you basically get out of the ground before anyone could say MS Paint Adventures ten times on a sugar rush.

Why the hell would anyone say that anyways?

Now you are out of the ground that you were buried under. How did you get there? You're not sure. However, you do need to figure out why you are dripping with green. It's disgusting! You go over to the body of water nearby and wash yourself. It's like a river of green just decided to go down your body. Where is it coming from? And why do you look anemic?

Oh Gog.

You look into the reflection of the water to see what monster you've become. You are now a girl with black hair, pointy vampire teeth, grey skin, and a set of candy corn horns. One of them is in the shape of a bow. You are also bleeding green.

You get a message from a familiar looking username.

shadedSoul began cheering artisticAssassin.

SS: Hi!

SS: We survived! Yay!

AA: Yeah, and I'm a fucking monster!

SS: What?

AA: I'm this grey anemic looking freak with candy corn colored horns!

SS: You're a troll?

AA: Oh Gog, this is what you guys look like?

SS: It's not that bad.

AA: .eruS

SS: You're also talking backwards!

AA: WAIT.

SS: What?

AA: That machine…

AA: Did it do anything to you?

SS: I don't know. I don't have a mirror with me.

AA: How about a body of water?

SS: Yeah, there's a body of water here.

AA: Check yourself out in its reflection.

SS: Ok…

SS: Oh my God.

AA: SEE?

SS: I'm a monster!

AA: Hey, I'm sorry I called your race "monstrous" but it doesn't mean you can do the same.

SS: shut it im trying to cope!

shadedSoul ceased cheering artisticAssassin.

Yeah, she's not happy with this either.

You decide to message your new buddy.

artisticAssassin began poking poisonedBeauty.

AA: Hey.

PB: Did u get out alrite?

AA: Yes.

PB: Good!

AA: Oh by the way, I just found out I'm not human.

PB: Wait, wut?

AA: I'm a troll apparently.

AA: Disgusting creature really.

PB: Well thats not good.

AA: Yeah.

PB: Wut do trolls look like?

AA: Imagine an anemic douche with candy corn colored horns.

PB: Ill imagine an anemic angel with delicious candy corn horns.

AA: Close enough, but they are more demonic looking than anything.

PB: Oh…

AA: Whatever.

AA: Question is: What's the point of me being a troll now on my home planet?

PB: I couldn't really tell you.

PB: Maybe its for peace reasons.

AA: Maybe.

AA: Or maybe the gods just want to curse me for eternity.

PB: I hope not.

AA: Same.

PB: Well, im gonna go play the game now!

AA: Oh ok.

AA: Try to survive as much as you can.

PB: Ok!

PB: Cya!

AA: Bye.

poisonedBeauty ceased being poked by artisticAssassin.

You hope she will make it far.

_AN: Fan of Hikari? Wanna ask her questions? Well look for her on tumblr! hikaripengar . tumblr . c-m (Hopefully it works this time.)_


	11. Chapter 10

You are once again Hikari Pengar, but you are not a troll anymore. You are a human in Alternia. This is weird. Wouldn't you have ended up on Earth with your new human body instead of troll infested Alternia? You are going to die here! You try to cope, but you fail. After your failure, you receive a message from someone new.

seriousBlackout began cheering on shadedSoul

SB: hey

SS: Hello?

SB: wats up?

SS: Not much really…

SS: Are you going to play a game soon?

SB: ya, y?

SS: Just wondering.

SB: howd u no im gonna play a game soon?

SS: I played the game before you.

SB: u couldnt, the game was just released

SS: No, I played it before. Yours is just a different version.

SB: u mean like a sequel?

SS: Sort of.

SB: Sorta?

SS: No, sort of.

SB: real funny

SS: Well anyways, what's your name?

SB: Ukikoa Prieto

SB: u?

SS: Hikari Pengar.

SB: nice to meet ya

SS: Nice to meet you too.

SS: How many people are playing the game?

SB: Including me, 13.

SS: Cool.

SB: ya, but i feel like my team leader is a jerk.

SS: Is he crabby?

SB: she is

SS: She?

SB: she

SS: So wait… No offense, but what gender are you?

SB: im a guy

SB: thanks B/

SS: You're welcome ;P

SB: im just assuming ur a girl

SB: no offense if ur a guy

SS: I am a guy.

SB: rlly? Sorry

SS: Nah, I'm totally kidding! Of course I'm a girl ;)

SB: that wasn't cool

SS: And you are?

SB: ok just stop

SS: Sorry just trying to have fun with this conversation.

SB: and not make it more awkward than it already is?

SS: Exactly.

SB: I gtg

SB: my clown of a friend is messaging me

SS: Oh ok.

SS: Wait I just have one more question.

SB: shoot

SS: What's your blood color?

SB: lime green B)

SS: Great!

SB: thanks?

SS: You're welcome.

SB: ok well bye then

SS: Bye! Good luck!

SB: thanks.

seriousBlackout ceased cheering on shadedSoul

Ok you are starting to get this. The scratch made gender bender versions of everyone who played the game before. Apparently Karkat is now a girl and you are somehow a guy. Wonderful.

Speaking of Karkat, can you still contact him or can you not reach any of the original trolls anymore? You try to contact him.

shadedSoul began cheering on carcinoGeneticist

SS: Karkat?

SS: Can you read my messages?

CG: HEY, WHERE ARE YOU?

SS: KARKAT! :D

CG: WOW.

CG: I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU USE ALL CAPITALS BEFORE.

CG: ANYWAYS, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

SS: Alternia.

CG: WAIT, WHAT?

CG: HOW ARE YOU IN ALTERNIA?

SS: I somehow got stuck in the ground here.

CG: YOU WERE STUCK IN THE GROUND?

CG: WHAT KIND OF BULL SHIT AM I HEARING?

SS: This is the truth! I was stuck in this machine that was stuck in the ground and then when I got out I noticed I was a human!

CG: OH GOG.

CG: YOU BECAME ONE OF THOSE PINK MONKEYS?

SS: Yes.

CG: POOR YOU.

SS: Thanks for being sympathetic.

CG: YOU'RE WELCOME.

CG: ANYWAYS, YOU ARE NOW STUCK ON ALTERNIA WITH THE POST SCRATCH TROLLS?

SS: Yeah. I noticed they are gender bender versions of us!

CG: OH GOG.

CG: PLEASE DON'T TELL ME I'M A GIRL.

SS: Ok, but I'd be lying.

CG: OH GOG. NO NO NO NO NO!

SS: Hey, calm down!

CG: SORRY, BUT I JUST DON'T SEE MYSELF AS A GIRL.

SS: Ok well I couldn't until now.

CG: JUST STOP.

SS: Whatever you say, great leader.

CG: YOU ARE ANNOYING.

SS: You are too.

CG: GEE, THANKS.

SS: You're welcome. ;)

SS: Anyways, I don't know why I'm a human on Alternia, but there is probably a reason.

CG: PROBABLY NOT A GOOD REASON.

SS: Maybe.

CG: HOLD ON A MOMENT. DAVE IS BEING ANNOYING.

SS: What is that "cool kid" doing now?

CG: DRAWING VERY WEIRD SHAPES IN THIS BOOK.

SS: Uh cool?

CG: NO, IT'S ANNOYING.

CG: HEY I'LL BE GONE FOR A MOMENT OKAY?

carcinoGeneticist ceased being cheered by shadedSoul

Well that was weird.


End file.
